It’s June, and we are right in the middle of wedding season! I know that there are many lolita out there who are in their late teens and twenties, and if your friends are anything like mine, you probably know a few people who are getting married or were recently married.
A question which comes up fairly regularly is “Can I wear lolita to a wedding if I’m not the bride?”.
Now, personally, I don’t wear lolita every day, and when I attend weddings, I typically go out and buy a new, non lolita dress, or wear a non lolita dress from my closet that I’ve bought for a previous wedding. If you are going to a wedding and the bide is a fussy sort of person who is very particular about everything being as normal and perfect as possible, then this is always the best and safest route. You can often find things that still reflect your personal style. The last wedding I went to was an evening wedding and I wore the dress pictured to the right (from Nordstrom) with a wide black belt, a black shrug, black heels and a little black pouchette.
Obviously, not lolita, but the dress was the only part I actually had to buy, and I actually used an Alice and the Pirates mini pouchette turned backwards so you couldn’t see the logo as my bag (it was very last minute and I couldn’t find a suitable black clutch at the store).
My personal feeling on the matter is that a wedding is a day that is 100% for the bride and groom (or both brides and both grooms, it is 2015, after all). While you totally want to look cute, and you certainly should be able to, it’s not really about you. So, it’s best to shelve the extravagant in favor of the subtle.
If you are close to the bride/groom, and they have expressed that they enjoy your quirky sense of style, you could casually ask if it would be appropriate to wear lolita at the wedding. If the thought of asking sounds awkward to you, then you already know that the answer is that you shouldn’t wear it, right?
If they do say that it’s ok, don’t wear white (or the color of the bride’s dress), and do try to avoid anything that looks like a wedding dress. Go for a simple headbow, and do not wear a veil, animal ears, crown or toys on your head. Also, don’t carry a bouquet or scepter.
The more “normal” your outfit looks, the better it’s likely to go over. A solid or floral classic or otome dress with short sleeves, or a JSK + a cardigan, light petticoat, and natural hair is best. Solid tights instead of loudly printed OTK socks or lolita tights, and simple shoes. The coordinate on the right would be ok if the bride was ok with you wearing lolita. If you didn’t ask, I’d personally say that dress might be ok, if I put a sweater over that OP, use solid or nude tights, plain black shoes, and wear my hair down with nothing in it (or a simple clip pulling some of it back to the side). I’d wear a very light petticoat, or no petticoat.
A dress like this Jane Marple dress is going to look perfectly fine without a petticoat, and putting a nice little sweater over it takes it down from otome or lolita to just a quirky print sundress. Go very light on (or skip) accessories, and wear sheer hose and a pair of pumps or mary janes in a neutral color.
At the end of the day, keep in mind that you are only attending the wedding to celebrate your friend being in love. That should be the center point of the day, and everything you do should only be in support of that.