Crimson Reflections

Because sometimes the world is too complex for black and white
Lolita Fashion History

Lolita Blog Carnival – What Are Some Things You Feel Shouldn’t Be Asked Anymore?

As part of my ongoing goal to just publish out what I’ve written, even if it’s quite late, today I’m publishing this Lolita Blog Carnival Post from Sept 27th 2019: “What Are Some Things You Feel Shouldn’t Be Asked Anymore?”. I’m a firm believer in there not being such a thing as a stupid question, after all, none of us are born knowing anything, and what is obvious to one person might not be obvious to another. That said, there are certainly a few questions that I think really shouldn’t be asked.

“How can your afford that?” / “Who pays for your lolita clothing?”

It’s 2022. Many women work. Many people who wear lolita are past their school days. Some people who wear lolita come from families that have money. The idea that a woman can’t have the money to buy lolita unless some man pays for it is just plain silly, and even if someone who wears lolita does have someone else paying for it for them, who cares? It’s not anyone’s business how anyone pays for their clothing.

“Can I have [item you are selling] for free / [very low offer]?”

Asking for stuff for free is really annoying. If someone is selling something, they are selling it. They expect money in return.

Similarly, if you are shopping online, and you see an item for sale second hand, making an offer that is more than 50% off the asking price is pretty rude. I typically wouldn’t suggest going more than 30% off with an offer (ideally, go for even less of a discount than that). And never make an offer on something that was just listed. Wait a few days at the very least. Most people are going to want to see if their item will sell at the asking price before accepting a lower offer.

“Will you sell me [item you are currently wearing]?”

If someone hasn’t indicated they are going to sell something, asking them to sell it to you in a non sales context is kinda rude. Especially trying to buy something right off their body! I also think it’s a little creepy when people like… figure out who bought something on LM and then bother them about it, personally. Like, yes, you can figure out where an item went, but should you really contact someone about it? If you are going to pull this tactic, IMHO, you better have a really good offer to make up for it. Like, 2x the value of the piece.

IMHO, a better solution to this dilemma of wanting something, but it not being for sale, is simply to post a WTB post. If the person who bought the item or owns the item wants to sell it, hopefully they will see your WTB and offer to sell to you. It also makes other people who might be less attached to their same copy of the item aware of you wanting it, which increases your chance of success.

I have had this happen so many times over the years that I feel the need to add on that I am not writing this about any particular instance, nor am I upset at anyone who has done this. I simply want to make it clear that this particular practice doesn’t typically work (in fact, I’ve never seen anyone say yes) and does typically leave the person being asked feeling a little put out, and thus I don’t recommend it.

Do you have any similar questions that you have been asked that need to be retired? Let me know in the comments!

Other blogs participating in this theme:
Roli’s Ramblings

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